pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
