Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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