But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
