Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
