She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize