Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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