guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
