you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
