Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
