Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
