All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
