He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you never un-have a 4some
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
