I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
