i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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