Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
