i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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