Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
