They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
