i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
