But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
