I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
