i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize