Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize