this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
