meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
