redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
