I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
