I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
