You're completely useless in the revolution.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
