anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
