Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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