you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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