everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
