i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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