I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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