Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
