You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
