Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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