I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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