with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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