so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
