epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
