dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
