words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
