Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's never too late to be topless.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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