FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We have started to decorate penises.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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