Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
