I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
