But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you still have your period?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
