I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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