dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
