4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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