If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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