I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
