Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
