you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
