This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
