This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
