Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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