No stitches, just platelets and will power
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
