Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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