Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
whose parrot is this?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
