i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
